New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
