Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
