i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
