dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
