saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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