You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
