It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
