I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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