My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
