I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Someone signed my nipple.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
