No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
