my mouth tastes like poor choices
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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