i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
