my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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