Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
