I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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