he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I AM VODKA MAN
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
