If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
