I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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