i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
