well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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