Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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