Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
