The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
