3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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