lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
