carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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