ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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