can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.