sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.