Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
