To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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