My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize