is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
