i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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