Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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