A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
