Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
