He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
