honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
