i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
