We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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