There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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