Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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