I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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