wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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