So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
