Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
