I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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