I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
