nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
