More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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