stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
