My sheets look like a crime scene.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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