I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
