Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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