Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
