yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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