whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
