found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
