omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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