awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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