OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
