Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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