Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
