Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
