like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
