she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
