i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
