Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
