Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
